War Stories Anthology Personal blog.

Why good men are not sexy and what can be done about it

Good guys. They’re here when we need them. They take care of our flowers, pets and relationships with friends. They care more about others than they care about themselves. But here may be a dog just buried: a man can be either good or sexy, experts say.

Roman did not forget any anniversary. He brought Eve roses to celebrate the first meeting, a box of chocolates for the first kiss and a scented candle for each month of the relationship. He liked her parents, ironed her bras, never wanted to argue. He complied with all her wishes, and when she didn’t like something, he began massaging her legs. So you will understand that separation was simply inevitable.

We don’t know what we want

It’s really hard to advise men on how to satisfy a woman when we don’t know. We claim that we want our partner to whisper in our ears every day, how much he loves us, how it suits us, what we mean to him. We say we want to receive presents, we want frequent romantic dinners and a bed sprinkled with orchid petals. However, once all our wishes are fulfilled, it becomes pretty boring.

Scenario for nice boys

That’s why it’s not the fault of those good, nice guys that they don’t know much about us. They have honestly read our “user manual” and try to act on it. He knows what we like, he will satisfy us in everything and he will not answer NO to anything. The problem, however, is that if we go to bed with them, we will play cards there, or at most Man, don’t be angry …

Vulnerability is not an aphrodisiac

So why aren’t we attracted to good men? “Good men are more vulnerable,” said human relations specialist Dr. Ronald E. Riggio in Psychology Today. “It’s very easy for someone to abuse their friendliness to their advantage and bring them into a tight spot.” However, vulnerability does not act as an aphrodisiac on women. We don’t just want to soothe men, we also want to have a good time (or above all) with them.

You will not find altruism in a sex shop

Unfortunately, altruism itself is not a ticket to our bedroom. Good men are caregivers. They make sure that everyone is well: that the dog gets a proper bowl of granules, the parents had paid vouchers and we had no reason to argue with them. However, caring for others deprived them of the opportunity to take care of themselves. A good man may be the one who loves small children, but he only takes a shower twice a week.

I’m too nice

Another problem of good men is that they use their helpfulness as an excuse and refuse to continue working on themselves. “She left me because I was too kind to her,” we often hear from disappointed friends. However, as Dr. Riggio claims, kindness is only part of the whole set of qualities, and although it is difficult to change, we can certainly work to change our behavior.

We want to be dissatisfied

For a successful relationship, such good men are offered a solution: make sure that the woman is always dissatisfied with something in the relationship. Dissatisfaction acts as a motivation. It’s like the engine, why stay in a relationship, what to work on, what to improve. A good man can give us everything - but then we want more from him?